My lovely Samantha 1/15/2010 visiting Virginia and DC

Damn, could I have waited any longer?

It's been like 6 months since I have updated this thing, I apologize. I am at work so cannot be sitting here writing a blog but I ♥ you all and will update soon. All is well. Kids are growin like weeds and the hubby's on deployment (what else is new?).

Be back soon.....

Am I just a whiner?

The other day I was feeling really down on myself. I am really into the Facebook thing and it's a blast reconnecting w/ people from so long ago. I feel as though once people "accept" me as friends on there, then that's it. I'll write a note here and there and they may respond once but then that's it. Even if I'm asking questions about what's gone on in their lives the past 20+ years....

I was feeling so unwanted. Kind of like maybe they just accepted a request from me to be nice. You know how it goes....it's all a downward spiral until you get out of it.

I am also sad that my dad and brother hardly ever talk to me. It's like they have one another and the family friends and don't need me and my family. My brother's in town looking at houses to rent or buy (moving out from CO). He got in on Fri. evening and I texted him yesterday (Tue.) about getting together & I get a text back saying he'll call me towards the end of the week. I know he's busy and all but it just seemed rude? I didn't grow up w/ him (he's my half brother on my mom's side). I really want a brother-sister relationship w/ him and am excited he's moving out to CA. Hoping to spend more time w/ him. We get along well but have never been able to really spend a lot of time w/ one another over the years. He and my dad get along famously despite the fact my dad didn't raise him and didn't know him until my brother was an adult. I sort of feel like he (my dad) has what he's always wanted--a son to do things with now. My own father never calls me anymore. He talks to my brother almost daily. When I call him it's always somewhat strained and I find myself grasping to find things to talk about w/ him. I am always afraid he's so bored with me. It wasn't like that growing up. Makes me sad. I feel so left out and unwanted. He went to KS for awhile to help w/ harvest on the family's farm and didn't even call me to tell me he was leaving town. My brother and my cousin knew though. What's wrong with me? I never did anything bad to him. I never ask him for anything, I have a job, a family, am educated, nice. It's a mystery to me. One of these days I suppose I need to talk to him but am dreading it. He is not one to show emotion.

My boss has been a jackass lately too. Treats me like I am invisible until he wants something from me. I do good work, I don't understand. I often wonder if I am a difficult person to know. I don't think so. I am considerate and nice but make mistakes like everyone else at times.

Don't mean to bombard you all with negativity, just venting. Maybe someone has a suggestion or 2 for me? :)

stuff...

I am so bad about keeping this up! Anyway, here's what's been going on lately:

Samantha is really doing well w/ the potty training, I am SO proud of her! She is 100% at the DC but at home she sometimes has an accident w/ poo poo. I thought I'd never see the day where she would use the toilet. I only use pull-ups now for bedtime. Often she doesn't even go at night but I'd rather her have one on so the bed doesn't get messed up.

4th of July was a blast at Sea World. I'll post some pics....












Sam's also doing well at the new DCP. I was having to fight w/ her on occasion in the mornings to go but now she's good. She gets to go swimming a lot there and the DCP takes them to the park a lot and whatnot. I am really glad I found her. NOt much else happening really. We're going on vacation in Aug. to Idaho to see DH's family. We're taking our big 5th wheel trailer too, it should be a fun adventure. Looking forward to it. My cousins are up in Yosemite now, I am so jealous, sounds like a fun time. Maybe next year as DH has to deploy AGAIN in Sep. for 6 months. Yes, we'll be doing it all over again this year too. It sucks because he hasn't even been home for 1 year and he's already leaving again. Arrrgh!

Guess that's about all. Have a great day!

Update on the PT

Well, I don't know why I'm updating since it really hasn't changed much from the last post but I felt like getting on here. Sam did really good during last weekend. I almost had a heart attack when I heard about her using the big potty without even telling anyone! Maybe she needs to stay over there or something, ha ha. She still has some accidents but she goes on the potty also and I am amazed every time she does it.

My DH has been working really long hours lately and has had to stay on the ship the past 2 nights. we miss him and I am sure he misses us too. I'm hoping he'll get a break from his inspections today and get to come home--or at least come home before 8PM.

My parents are in town and anxious to see the kids. Sam cannot wait to see grandma & grandpa, she's been talking about it for almost a week now! My stepson's last day of school is today so he's pretty happy as you can imagine!

That's about all that's happening around here, nothing too exciting which I guess is a good thing. Sam's still getting used to the new DCP. It's tough but she'll adapt I know....